Rules & Guidelines

Rules of the House of T'sai

The first thing to remember is the prime rule that over rides all other rules...

Master is always right!

If ever you question that rule, you are very likely in trouble in this House. When it appears to you that I am wrong, look carefully, it is usually that I have been misinformed or misunderstood something, somewhere along the chain of time and information and that the real problem was there.

Misunderstanding usually stems from miscommunication. I expect adult behavior from my friends and lovers whether they are dominant, submissive or slave. Part of adult behavior is two way communications which elicit feedback so that it is clear that the other party knows and understands what you are attempting to communicate.

All this being said, I am human and thus capable of making mistakes. I'm always willing to learn or expand my knowledge and experience so I am always willing to listen to reason and new thought. However, just because I am capable of making a mistake, do not assume that gives you a right or duty to point that out in a disrespectful fashion. To do that is to risk summary dismissal or at the very least, a correction that you may not desire.

The following discussions set the stage for the rules to follow.

Trust

Trust is of vital importance to meaningful, growing, stable relationships. Without trust we endanger each other's emotional and physical well being. Indeed, in this lifestyle, without trust we can actually endanger our very lives.

So what is trust? Trust is a state of belief in or about someone or something. It is assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.

What creates trust? Trust takes time and experience to build, it can be said that a person of integrity inspires trust because others know that they are who they say they are, they do what they say they will do to the best of their abilities. Trust grows as people make commitments and keep them.

What violates trust? Trust can be violated in many ways. Willful withholding of information, hiding the truth or worst of all, outright deception. Trust can also be broken in subtle ways by someone not meeting our expectations. Trust can be broken by degrees, a little at a time, slowly, or massively in a stroke.

I tend to be quick to trust but once the sacred bond of trust has been broken by willful action or inaction, there will be hell to pay. The process of rebuilding trust is far more difficult than it is to keep the original trust in the first place.

I've been asked why I emphasize trust so much? Because it is a vital core of what is needed for us to be helping each other grow and prosper in this life.

Respect

Respect is having a high or special regard for someone or something. It is important in all relationships. Respect for each other is vital. Respect is often earned, over time and is clearly a result of honest integrity. People being who they are and not needing to hide anything about themselves.

Many have said that respect is earned, and in many ways, it is. Certainly the strongest levels of respect are earned by direct experiential knowledge of the other person. However, there can be levels of respect assumed based on roles that were chosen versus earned. For example, when first meeting someone, we automatically assign levels of respect based on what we perceive by what we know or can see as well as their adopted or stated title/role. When a submissive or slave first meets a dominant or master, they assume a certain level of respect to be show by both parties based on their chosen roles. This does not automatically mean that one role is assigned any greater respect than another. Indeed, in my estimation, submissives or slaves are the most deserving of respect due to their choice to serve another's needs.

Dishonesty will quickly destroy any respect that may have been assumed or earned. So ultimately, each of these precepts are obviously tied closely to each other.

Joy

Joy or happiness is actually a state of mind. It doesn't come from a drug, it doesn't come from what someone does to or for you. If someone is not happy with themselves it's highly unlikely that they will know joy or find happiness by any means outside themselves. It's also highly unlikely that you offer anything of value to someone else if you are not happy with yourself.

Life is too short for us to spend it in self-torment. While we are constantly besieged by pressures to conform to many false images and concepts and have to deal with negative messages and attitudes in society today, we must determine that we are going to seek and provide pleasure and satisfaction both for ourselves and for others to make life bearable. We can make life either heaven or hell by our own attitudes and actions.

Further Discussion

Due to the fact that each relationship is different, dependant on the depths and roles adopted, I do not publish specific rules beyond the primary rule above, the discussions and the ten basic rules. There will be other rules and expectations that I will discuss with you during negotiations. Further, as our relationship develops there may be changes required of you but trust me and you will discover that I will help you grow into whatever is desired.